Taylor had never anticipated she would become a statistic in extra marital affairs. Married for only five years, independent, professionally successful and in love with her partner, she found herself flirting with a colleague who worked in the same office with her. At first it was just a friendship, with lunches, e-mails and text messages when not together, all “strictly about work.” Then the content of these conversations became more personal and intimate and, before she realized it, she started to create excuses to see this colleague. When not together she fantasized about being together, when the relationship shifted from friendship to romance, Taylor was ready for it.
We all know someone like Taylor with direct experience with extramarital affairs, or had one ourselves, or our partner has. About 55% of all married women and 65% of all married men had an affair or more while in a committed relationship. Wow! This is an impressive number of people, coming cutting across different economic, social and educational backgrounds, and ranging from teenagers to senior citizens.
How do we know we are at risk? There are many factors that contribute to having an affair, including emotional and physical dissatisfaction and boredom in the current relationship, leading to lack of attention and excitement; increased exposure to people whom we regard as attractive; more lax societal attitudes about sex; easy access to the Internet, with its chat rooms and other social and romantic sites; a history of impulsive behaviors. Certain occupations are more likely to create opportunities for affairs, as celebrities know. Gender is also a factor, as men tend to have more affairs than women, though women are catching up.
If you are having an affair, remember that keeping a secret from your partner won’t help your relationship. Opening a frank and direct dialogue with r her, on the other hand, though very painful and difficult, may help both of you address the issues in your relationship, your feelings for one another and which patch the two of you want to follow, together or separately.
If your partner is having an affair, encourage him or her to talk to you about it. As distraught au are, you may want to understand what happened and assess the value of your relationship. In this way, you will be able to make an informed decision on how to proceed.
While two-thirds of couples (where one partner had an affair) do not survive the betrayal, the third that does survive at times can do better than prior to the affair. The reason is that the affair force couples to address rather than avoid issues and thus offers them an opportunity to address them. Affairs, as painful as they are, are symptoms, not causes of interpersonal problems. If you and your partner can identify the area or areas of conflict and problems, you may be able to grow from this experience and reach fabiosa.com a deeper level of intimacy with one another.
If you are interested in knowing more about affairs, including their consequences, please visit my blog site at and download my free ebook and Infidelity: All You Ever Wanted To Know About Affairs.